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The Scars in Self-Esteem

Dr. Maxwell Maltz was a
New York cosmetic surgeon during
the sixties and early seventies.

He had worked with thousands of women
to improve the way they look. 

Nothing interesting about that.

Here’s where it does get interesting:

He discovered that after awhile these women
“didn’t feel right” with the way they looked
after the procedure.

At first, the doctor was at a lost.

Scars were healed and improvements
were clearly visible.

They got what they asked for.

But for some reason,
they were unhappy about it.

Now of course,
Dr. Maltz being the competent surgeon
as he was, decided to help by performing
additional plastic surgery (at the patients request).

The surgery was performed.
Improvements were made.
It was a success.

Weeks later,
the patient comes in.

Bandages still wrapped around
her head and face.
Doctor brings her over to the mirror,
and delicately rolls off the bandages.

The doctor asks: Well, what do you think now?”
The patient, pauses for a moment:
“Dunno doctor, it still 
does’t feel right.

She walks out…
The doctor, whilst being perplexed
about this interaction, concluded that
these women were ’emotionally scared’.

No matter how many operations he performed
on them, it could never help.

Though the physical scars have healed
on those women, they had still ‘felt’ the scars
that won’t invincible.

Much like victims in traffic accidents,
who have a limb amputated in order to survive,
somehow feel pain in a limb that’s missing.

How do you remove physical pain from an
arm that’s not there?

how do you ‘give happiness’ to someone
whilst lying on a operating table?

This question remained with
Dr. Maltz for sometime.

And so, he made the transition from treating
the ‘outer-scars’, and heading towards
treating the ‘inner-scars’.

Taking off his surgical gloves,
and putting down his surgical instruments,
Maltz went to use his ‘voice’ as an instrument.
And pioneer his work through his ground-breaking

A book that elevated Dr. Maltz to being one of the
most in-demand motivational speakers
during that period.

The point?


People are looking for that ‘miracle cure’ 
to fix all their unhappiness and insecurities: 

Once I enhance the way I look,
then I can find that special someone.

Once I find that special someone,
then I be happy.

Once I am happy,
then I can love myself.

But you’re putting the equation
the wrong way around.

Once you love yourself,
THEN you will be happy,
THEN you will find that special someone
to share that happiness with you.

If you then choose to ‘fix’ a part about yourself,
then fixing it will only add towards your happiness,
rather than being dependent for it.

Just recently,
I read of Beth Whaanga from Brisbane
posting pictures of her surgery-scarred body
on Facebook following her ordeal
with breast cancer.

From doing this,
she had lost 100 friends within 24 hours.

Are people too blind to see
the naked truth?

When I was teenager,
I remember reading a book called 
‘The Little Prince’
by French author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

There was one passage that really stood out for me.
To paraphrase:
“One sees clearly only with the heart,
what is essential is invincible to the eyes.”

The most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen, but rather they are touched,
and felt with the heart.

The great Albert Einstein, once said:
“They are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is though everything is a miracle.”  

If miracles are to be found ‘out there’,
then by definition it is also to be
discovered ‘inside’ oneself.

Once that discovery is made,
and appreciated, then you’ll discover
the miracle of all miracles:


Thanks for reading,

Marco – MCH

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