The 3 key points to self mastery are:
your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviours.
If you master these three things you master yourself essentially.
When you master yourself you create personal power because all your thinking, your feelings and behaviours are congruent and aligned along the lines of the realities your interacting with.This is when you begin to master your own destiny. Your thoughts allow you create a reality that is useful.
A world for you to live in for a problem to not exist, to learn better, to have greater self-esteem, to be better at sports, to win an election or whatever your outcome is intended to be.
From the outcome that you want, your first step is to think about a reality that is consistent with itself. Which is the natural consequence of the outcome that you want. But thinking is not enough. You need to have power behind it, it has to be empowered in such a way so your reality is maintained.
And what empowers your thinking are your feelings. If you talk in a certain way and your tonality sub- communicates of having no faith or belief in the reality you want, there is no power in it to make it real. Even though it may exist inside your mind, because of no emotional-attachment to it, there is no feeling behind it, and if there is no feeling there is no power driving it.
This then comes out in your behaviour which is the third wing of self-mastery. Your behavior allows you to project this internally empowered sense of reality you created. Projecting this through your sub-communications in many different channels. Such as tonality, language and physiologically.
All these things will be influenced by the feelings or state you are in.
This is in turn influenced by the reality you created and how it interacts with your feelings to make it more real for you. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours shape your own reality.
These make up 3 points of a triangle. Now the beauty of this triangle, is that each point will affect, reinforce and change the other points of the triangle. In other words, the way that you think about things will influence the way that you feel and behave.
Here’s an example.
Think of a person that you really dislike and notice how you feel? Then clear your mind.
Now think of a person that you really like and again notice how you feel?
By doing that, you had a different emotional experience based on two different thoughts.
You allowed your thoughts to dwell on something you like and something you disliked. That affected your feelings. Followed by your state being altered because of it.
Similarly, you think about a disaster scenario such as having a conflict with someone. That will alter your state significantly in a negative or stress related direction.
Think about people that you love or pleasant experiences and things you like doing. You then go into a calmer set of experiences. So your state gets altered into a more calmer, tranquil states of experience.
Simultaneously, as those states happen, your behaviour alters. Typically you think of somebody you don’t like or a situation that is unpleasant and you may want to avoid that person or confront them. Like wise with the situation.
Of course vice versa. You think of a person you like, and you want to approach that person or situation. Let’s look at feelings. Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to think of cheerful thoughts when your depressed or remember good times?
Or if you do think about good times it seems distant or dissociated?
Similarly, you’ll noticed that your performance goes down. Have you ever been depressed whilst playing a sport?
One of two things happen. Either you lose your depression. You cheer up basically. Or you play horribly.
Either your behaviour changes your state, and therefore your thoughts. Or your state changes the behaviour which will change your thinking. Of course, doing something over and over again becomes a habit. An easy way to remember this life formula is the following:
Your thoughts will change your feelings. Your feelings will drive your behaviour.Your behaviour over time become habits, and your habits will determine what kind of life you end up leading.
P.S. This is just one concept.
My Secrets to a Successful Life Coaching Program is packed with useful ideas and practical principles on helping you become the best version of you.